Unforgettable,thts wat u r…..

I am sitting idly,staring at the blank screen. Trying to put my chaotic thoughts down. The strains of ”Mula Mere Maula” reach my ears,I am captivated.There is something hypnotising abt the song. Its so melodious.

I love sitting idy with chaotic thoughts running thru my head.I dont wanna rein in my thoughts. I like drifting freely frm one thought to another. Though I always end up talking abt Him.But if it feels  gud 2 remember HIM.

I miss u ,a lot. Not a day passes me by wen i havent thought of u. My day begins with ur thought crossing my mind.

 I smile thinking how must be fast asleep though its 7A.M. I leave for college thining whether u have woken up or not, or still stuck to tht notorious “5 minute aur ….” I smile thinking u to be waking up at 11 am in the morning.But then U work so late at nites. I remember how i used to chatisise u 4 working so late at nites. I used to get so annoyed waiting 4 u 2 get back home.Once u went to visit ur sister n bro in law. And u were quite late while returning.All the way to home to u kept messaging me.Asking to to wait up for u. Rememeber how we used to go out for dinner sooooooooooooooooo late at nites. And once all restaurants have closed and we were forced to eat at a 5 star I laughed all the way back to home…..

I remember so many things….. It will take ages to forget them. ur memory is etched on my being, my soul. Every day I remmeber little things we did together.

U r sooo far away frm me now. The chasm is deep dark n bottomless. Where did We lose it ? The love…People were so envious of us. Always complimenting us on our gud fortune.

Shayad kissi ki nazar lag gayi huumare pyaar ko. Magar tum jahan bhi ho,pls do remember tht i wud always love u.

IRONICALLY

IRONICALLY

I miss ur smile
A beauty of being which
Warmed me within
I miss ur voice
A soft melody of song
And sweet intent
I miss the way
You would hold me
And we wud fall
in each other’s arms
A gentle embrace
So soothing and warm
I miss the way 
U would make me laugh
And the knots
I’d getting in my stomach
Before u’d come
I miss ur strength
A loving virtue,
Which drew back my fear
And how they felt
A shield against the world
I miss ur soft face.
And how it showed
Ur sensitivity.
I miss those pure white eyes,
And the excitement I felt.
I am missing u ‘sigh’..
Thoughts of u
Echo through my mind,
Tears glisten as drops
Across my cheek
But above everything,
I hate the way 
U don’t miss me at all.

Hello….Hello….Hello…..

Hello, hello, hello.
Can you hear me?
Please respond to me.
I’m dying inside.

Emotions…

Living amongst a hopeless crowd
Blind and tired, lost but wired
Can not seem to comprehend this shroud
Thrill and fear, chilled a tear

U said…..

U said…

U wud meet me

But u never showed up

So I was wondering

Where did u go?

Being Quite Irrational….

Nothingness. is it positive or negative? Do u consider tht nothing happens as postive occurence or negative? Or do u consider it as no occurence at all?This may sound a bit confusing,but I was wondering on the mening of nothingness.

We r always seeking meaning of things. We spend half of our lives trying to find the meaning of our life. And in the end we realize it wasnt worth it.The conclusion at the end of life tht we reach is a false one.

We all have a tendency to assign meaning to things , to events. Trying to rationalize the irrational. Anything tht doesnt conform to the existing norms is “irrational”! Irrationality isnt given a scope.

Irrationality , Insanity…. are these not part of our lives? Arent we all irrational or insane some time or the other in the course of our lives?Why do we need to conform to the old hackneyed established norms of life? Why cant Non Conformity ,Nothingless ,insanity,Irrationality ….etc etc be positive?

We are so sceptical abt these.Why cant we rise above them n see the beauty in nothiness,in irrationality in insanity? Why must we assign meaning to everything in life? Why cant things be nameless in life…

Death is beautiful It’s nothingness,its irrational,its insane. its so fulfilling an experience. Why do we take it as an end?

Perhaps there is some beauty in the nothingness of His relationship with me.The very nothingness,this irrationality,the meaninglessness adds a sense of mystery to it.Ithas a charm of its own.

If everything in life was rational ,it wud have been very boring and dull existence.It is this mystery,the irrationality tht sustains every relationship in this world.Some things in life just cant be explained. And perhaps it is better to leave them unexplained.There is a beauty in nothingness,an unusual kind of beauty.

It is the nothingness ,the irrationality, the unexpectedness,the absurdity,the meaninglessness tht makes life so charming, worth  a living.

Just one point….

i forgot to mention tht every heart is unique n every love is special . it isnt right to categorise them under one head. each love story is diff. each has a diff reason for y the relationship didnt work out….no two love stories r same in this world….neither r any two broken hearts the same……

So even though there is solidarity among the broken hearted ppl, each one id diff ,each one is special…..

Another broken heart,yet not so…

Well  a frnd of mine was in relationship with a gurl for 6 damn years. but he had to always go around on business tours.This didnt go well 4 their relationship.And now his gurl frnd is getting married to someone else. Damn it hurts to see him like this. He really loves a lot!

Some people r really unfortunate tht they miss out on true love. I have heard somewhere tht its better to be loved than to love. If tht is true y do we have broken hearts?

So as I was saying we tried fixing him up with other gurls. One was an air hostess but she was too uncompromising. Consequently tht didnt work out. i think 4 a successful relationship its necessary to compromise on both sides.

Next we hitched him with a model. But she was tooooooooo……….preety . Poor guy ,he felt as if he was committing a crime dating her!!!

Now He is seriously considering marriage. The gurl isnt toooooo preety n neither is she too uncompromising. But i was wondering if such marriages succceed. I mean its nothing but a compromise,right?He doesnt love her.And frm wat we can see he never can.He is so heart broken.

I think the world is littered with millions of broken hearts.But wat i wud like to know how do these people survive the heartache?And if they do get involved in another relationship, r they not compromising with their love?

I think its like committing a blasphemy!!! Love is sacred. Its eternal.Love is unselfish. Love is not a business deal. Love is abt sacrificing everything one has….

And for me Love is U,Ashi….

I have no other name for Love.4 me its synonymous with U.

Nothing in particular….

Ok people to pep me up i am  listening to “Oh Carol”  !!! Wishing I was Carol n someone like Neil Sedaka wud sing a song like tht. I wonder y the Hindi music directors  do something original. I mean u people remember that song frm wats the movie called… arey the one starring preity zinta .uff the Kundan shah movie (which was suppossed to be one of the  ”hat ke films” in Indian Cinema…wait lemme google search…brb.

Haanthe movie is called “kya kehna” and the song goes like this…aye dil laaya hai bahaar….

This is a straight lift frm “Oh Carol”!!! :-X

This is soooo unfair. These music directors dont even acknowledge the original song! How terrible of them.

Ah ”Foreigner” after such a long time n their all time greatest “I wanna know wat love it”Wow each word is just amazing.

chalo I will make a move…I will curl up with a book now n some nice gud music to sooth me

This is sooo..pathetic of me!!!

I am wondering if I should talk abt my feeling today or not. I was thinking abt a new beginning. New beginning in the sense no more crying over the past and no more blogging abt it.

I was determined to shut all my thoughts abt him. But I donno I must be a hopeless case .

While coming back home, I heard the song …