Hume Tum Se Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

I am missing u so much. I think rain makes ur absence more prominent. The fact that u r not here with me become more glaring. I donno y i feel so lonely even when i am with friends n family. It is as if i am there with them physically but in my mind i am wandering. Loitering among the wrecks of the past, where u n i were together.

Days r so gloomy without u. Sometimes i just donno wat to do with myself. I want to be with u. But i cant. there isnt any chance of us being together. Yet i just cant let go of the past?

Why cant i let it go? Why dont i get over it? Havent i suffered enough? He has forgotten me? Then y cant i forget him? Y do i still linegr in the past.  It’s not deliberate. I want to move ahead in life.

But some unseen force holds me back. it has  shacked me to the past.I loved him. He was my world. He was my life. I wish he knew / realized how much i loved him. How much i still love him. I wish he wud love me a little.

Pathetic but true…

I cant get over u coz i have loved u too much to even contemplate 4getting u. i didnt love u so that i cud forget u. It was forever kind of love. Sounds silly, na? But love makes u do all sorts of crazy things. 

Well all i can say to u , Ashi is…

Tu Jo Hai To Sab Kuch Hai Na Koi Kami Hai

Hume Tum Se Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhare Bina

Hume Tum Se Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhare Bina

Hume Tum Se Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhare Bina

Tu Hi Dil Hai Tu Hi Jaan Bhi Hai

Tu Khushi Hai Aasra Bhi Hai

Teri Chaahat Zindagi Hai 

Tu Mohabbat Tu Aashiqui Hai Tu Aashiqui Hai

Tumhe Koi Aur Dekhe To Jalta Hai Dil

Badi Mushkilo Se Phir Sambhalta Hai Dil

Kya Kya Jatan Karte Hai Tumhe Kya Pata

Yeh Dil Bekaraar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

Magar Jee Nahi Sakte Tumhare Bina

Hume Tum Se Pyaar Kitna

Suna Gum Judai Ka Uthate Hai Log

Jaane Zindagi Kaise Bitate Hai Log

Din Bhi Yaha To Lage Baras Ke Sama

Hume Intezar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

Magar Jee Nahi Sakte Tumhare Bina

Hume Tum Se Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahi Jaante

Magar Jee Nahi Sakte Tumhare Bina 

tumhe ho naa ho, muz ko to itanaa yakeen hai

tumhe ho naa ho, muz ko to itanaa yakeen hai

muze pyaar tum se naheen hai, naheen hai

muze pyaar tum se naheen hai, naheen hai

magar maine ye raaj  ab tak naa jaanaa

ke kyon pyaaree lagatee hai, baaten tumhaaree

mai kyo tum se milane kaa dhanoodhoo bahaanaa

kabhee maine chaahaa, tumhe chhoo ke dekhoo

kabhee maine chaahaa, tumhe paas laanaa

magar fir bhee is baat kaa to yakeen hai..

fir bhee jo tum door rahate ho muz se

to rahate hain dil pe, udaasee ke saaye

koee khwaab unche makaanon se zaanke

koee khwaab baithhaa rahe, sar zukaye

kabhee dil kee raahon mane faile andheraa

kabhee door tak roshanee muskuraye

magar fir bhee is baat kaa to ..

Nah I know i am in love with u, Ashi.   

kabhi yun bhi to ho…

it’s that time of the year again. yeah monsoon’s here. and i am missing u as hell. i keep wishing u were here with me. cuddled close to me. enjoying the rain.

I kept thinking abt u as i watched the rain thru the windows. i didnt feel like getting up n get drenched out in the rain. though i wanted to. but there was a lack. and i realized it was u. it wasnt the same without u.

it’s funny how u tend to associate things with someone. little things u never knew u r associating with a particular person, until that person is away. and u realize  that u have been so involved with that person that u have started associating little things with  that person.

In my case, i have loads of songs which remind me of him.  every time i go to CCD i dont order a particular kind of coffee which i used to drink wen He was with me.  And it was suppossed to be my fav cold coffee. anyway, love’s like that only.

Do u think of me, Ashi? Do u think abt me wen it rains? Do u think of me wen u hear a song which i liked a lot or one which we both liked one? Do u dance on our tunes? Do u think of me ever?

I wish u did. not often. but at least sometimes. dont little things remind u of me? u r so deeply embedded in my mind. i just cant get rid of ur memories.

All i can say, and again i am taking the help of a gazal to say wat i wish to say to u, ashi… yes, kash kabhi yun bhi ho…

Dariya Ka Saahil Ho, Poore Chaand Ki Raat Ho
Aur Tum Aao, Kabhi Yoon Bhi To Ho

Pariyon Ki Mehfil Ho, Koi Tumhari Baat Ho
Aur Tum Aao, Kabhi Yoon Bhi To Ho

Ye Naram Mulaayam Thandi Hawaayen, Jab Ghar Se Tumhaare Guzre
Tumhari Khushbo Churaayen, Mere Ghar Le Aayen, Kabhi Yoon Bhi To Ho

Sooni Har Mehfil Ho, Koi Na Mere Saath Ho
Aur Tum Aao, Kabhi Yoon Bhi To Ho

Ye Baadal Aise Toot Ke Barse, Mere Dil Ki Tarah Milne Ko,
Tumhara Dil Bhi Tarse, Tum Niklo Ghar Se, Kabhi Yoon Bhi To Ho

Tanhaai Ho Dil Do, Boonde Hon Barsaat Ho Aur Tum Aao.